Prepare to make carrot cake!

13 January 2012

I ran down to the field where all the other rabbits were. We were going to collect carrots to make carrot cake -- everybunny's favourite!

I found everyone sitting on the grass, looking at Nigel Floppyears. He stood at the front, pointing at a map of the carrot field.

Rabbit lecturing

"What's going on?" I asked Clarissa.

"Don't ask!" she said. "Nigel's decided that we need a more efficient carrot-collecting strategy."

"No talking at the back!" shouted Nigel. "Concentrate; this is important."

I looked round. Several rabbits were trying to suppress a yawn, and even Winston, Nigel's little dog, was curled up asleep.

"Now," Nigel continued. "Every rabbit needs to learn that the carrot is our enemy! It is our mission to catch that carrot, but the carrot does not want to be caught. So what must we do? What must we do to defeat the carrot?"

I put up my hand. "We pull it out of the ground?"

"Good heavens, if only it were that simple! This is a serious, complicated manoeuvre. First, we have to prepare! We have to find our carrot. We have to disarm our carrot. We have to catch our carrot. Then, and only then, can we make carrot cake. Fortunately, technology is on our side." He held up a small screen.

CarrotNav (for rabbits)

"CarrotNav: Uses GPS to locate and identify the nearest carrot."

And just gone three o'clock, I noted. Nearly tea-time.

"Next, we have to prepare for every situation that might arise. Heavy boots to cross the muddy field; goggles to protect your eyes against that carotene glare; a net to catch the carrot, and a box to make sure he doesn't escape. And a hard hat in case the little devil tries to fight back."

Rabbit hunter

"Is that it?" asked Clarissa. "Can we go and get the carrots now?"

"One more thing," said Nigel. "We have to make sure that carrot does not see us coming, or he'll run. What do we to make sure the carrot doesn't see us coming, eh?" Nigel asked.

"We go at night?" I suggested.

"Don't be silly, everyone knows that carrots can see well in the dark. No -- we go in disguise! Wait, I'll show you." Nigel went behind the tree. A moment later --

Rabbit disguised as carrot

"Ta-da! Now, everyone follow me!"

He ran towards the carrot field.

"Come on," said Clarissa. "Everyone just pull a carrot as usual, and we'll go back to the burrow and make cake. Bob Tail, you put the kettle on."

And jolly nice cake it was too.